My gripe today is about Christmas. Please don't shoot me. I love Christmas since my daughter was born it's great. However, it seems that Christmas is getting earlier an earlier each year. No, I don't mean that anyone has changed the date. I mean in terms of stores and advertising. I swear I saw Christmas decorations out in September.
I know the older Moms out there can relate. Once upon a time you didn't see Christmas items until after Thanksgiving. There was Halloween, then after that we all concentrated on Thanksgiving. Finally we celebrated Christmas. I remember my Mom thinking it was crazy that her friend was putting up her Christmas tree the day after Thanksgiving. It was just too early in her eyes. Now I bet there are some out there that put up a tree right after Halloween.
One of my favorite radio stations started playing all Christmas music the second week of November. I'm thinking, "You're kidding me right." I like Christmas music but there is only so much of it that I can take. I know I will be burned out on it way before Christmas gets here.
This is not to mention that we have practically excluded Thanksgiving from the holiday celebrations. We're so focused on Christmas that stores are opening Thanksgiving Day to sell you stuff for Christmas. I must admit I will be shopping Thanksgiving because, as much as I don't want to, I can't pass up the great deal on the Elsa doll that Froggie is asking Santa for Christmas. I don't really want to go but at the same time the thought of getting something she wants at a great deal is hard to pass up.
I have been asked if I'm decorating for Christmas the day after Thanksgiving. I might put up the lights because last year my husband waited and waited and we had them up for maybe a week. Putting up the lights always reminds me of the good times I had as a child. We will probably wait until the first weekend in December to put up the tree. Froggie likes to help with the decorations.
So tomorrow when you're gathered around the table with family and maybe even friends, think about Thanksgiving. Put Christmas out of your mind for just a moment. Think about what you are truly thankful for.
Wednesday, November 26, 2014
Monday, November 10, 2014
Are you a friend or are you a mom?
Every so often I come across a really great article. This one was due to the fact one of my Facebook friends had read it and thought it was good. So I looked it up and read it for myself. She was right.
Kelly Ripa was talking about discipline and her 13 year old daughter. She mentioned in an interview that her daughter didn't like her right about now because she had taken away the computer and phone privileges. Her daughter broke the rules and she was punished. She also mentioned that she is not her daughter's friend she's her Mom.
Bravo, Ms. Ripa. I know that there are people out there that are gasping right now and feeling faint. I believe this way too. My four year old, light of my life, told me that she hated me and she didn't love me anymore. She had a major temper tantrum and wasn't listening to me and wanted things her way. I'm sorry that's not going to happen. She got mad and told me mean things. I don't know if it's the way I was raised or because I'm an older Mom but I believe that you can't be friends with your child.
As much as teens say they want freedom, independence and to be grown up, they secretly desire structure and rules. It's scary being on your own. Sometimes those rules you have in the house, even the ones that they break, is a security blanket. I could give Froggie everything she wants at 4 and then she can be a total nightmare at 14. I won't do it. I'm sorry. She needs to know that there are consequences to her actions.
I am not a super strict Mom. Yes I do give in to somethings. I do believe in picking your battles. But I also am not the carefree, I don't give a damn what my child does parent either. I am hoping to raise a well adjusted child all the way into being a well adjusted, successful adult. If that means being the bad guy sometimes then so be it.
I'm not my child's friend. I'm her Mom. I'm her caretaker. I'm her teacher. I'm her nurse. Most of all I'm the one that is responsible for the way she behaves for the rest of her life.
Kelly Ripa was talking about discipline and her 13 year old daughter. She mentioned in an interview that her daughter didn't like her right about now because she had taken away the computer and phone privileges. Her daughter broke the rules and she was punished. She also mentioned that she is not her daughter's friend she's her Mom.
Bravo, Ms. Ripa. I know that there are people out there that are gasping right now and feeling faint. I believe this way too. My four year old, light of my life, told me that she hated me and she didn't love me anymore. She had a major temper tantrum and wasn't listening to me and wanted things her way. I'm sorry that's not going to happen. She got mad and told me mean things. I don't know if it's the way I was raised or because I'm an older Mom but I believe that you can't be friends with your child.
As much as teens say they want freedom, independence and to be grown up, they secretly desire structure and rules. It's scary being on your own. Sometimes those rules you have in the house, even the ones that they break, is a security blanket. I could give Froggie everything she wants at 4 and then she can be a total nightmare at 14. I won't do it. I'm sorry. She needs to know that there are consequences to her actions.
I am not a super strict Mom. Yes I do give in to somethings. I do believe in picking your battles. But I also am not the carefree, I don't give a damn what my child does parent either. I am hoping to raise a well adjusted child all the way into being a well adjusted, successful adult. If that means being the bad guy sometimes then so be it.
I'm not my child's friend. I'm her Mom. I'm her caretaker. I'm her teacher. I'm her nurse. Most of all I'm the one that is responsible for the way she behaves for the rest of her life.
Saturday, November 8, 2014
Mom's Don't Get Sick Days
This is the new slogan for Dayquil. The commercial shows a woman that opens the door to a room and tells someone that she needs to take a sick day tomorrow. The next shot is of a little girl playing dress up in her room. The announcer says "Mom's don't take sick days."
Never has there been a truer statement said. Recently a stomach bug went around our house. When Froggie got it I had to explain it wasn't an actual bug in her stomach but a virus. That was fun in itself. She got it first then it passed to my husband. I went three days and figured I was fine. Oh how wrong I was. Wednesday afternoon I was sick at work. I couldn't leave due to the fact we were short handed. Luckily, hubby was already taking Froggie to dance class. I told him I was very sick and to just pick up something for the both of them to eat I was going to bed when I got home.
These are the times I am very thankful for daycare. Even though I still got up the next morning after a sleepless night due to spending most of it in the bathroom, I didn't have to take care of her the whole day. However, hubby had a very important meeting after work. So he took off early and picked up Froggie then told her what was going on. He told her that I was sick and he had to go to a meeting. She asked if she would go to the meeting and he told her that she had to take care of me. She said, "Why don't I go to the meeting and you take care of Mommy." He told her she couldn't because she couldn't drive. Though I do think his meeting with the board would have been much more fun and memorable if Froggie would have attended in his place.
I will say that my daughter is very caring and loving and a good nurse. But she still relies on me for a lot. I had to get her dinner. Thank goodness for Ravioli and a microwave. It wasn't the best meal but I got my child fed. We did a lot of snuggling but I still had to get up to get her something to drink. She gave me lots of hugs and kisses to make me feel better.
I am lucky that my husband is good. He took care of the dishes and put Froggie to bed when he got home. Not all Moms have someone that can or is willing to help out when you aren't feeling real well. I remember the last time the stomach bug hit me, Froggie was just a baby and it was over the weekend and my husband was working that Saturday so I had to take care of her. Let me tell you the last thing you want to do with a queasy stomach is change a poopy diaper. But I sucked it up and I did it. Just like the other night. I had to suck it up and take care of her. She's my baby and Mom's don't get sick days.
Never has there been a truer statement said. Recently a stomach bug went around our house. When Froggie got it I had to explain it wasn't an actual bug in her stomach but a virus. That was fun in itself. She got it first then it passed to my husband. I went three days and figured I was fine. Oh how wrong I was. Wednesday afternoon I was sick at work. I couldn't leave due to the fact we were short handed. Luckily, hubby was already taking Froggie to dance class. I told him I was very sick and to just pick up something for the both of them to eat I was going to bed when I got home.
These are the times I am very thankful for daycare. Even though I still got up the next morning after a sleepless night due to spending most of it in the bathroom, I didn't have to take care of her the whole day. However, hubby had a very important meeting after work. So he took off early and picked up Froggie then told her what was going on. He told her that I was sick and he had to go to a meeting. She asked if she would go to the meeting and he told her that she had to take care of me. She said, "Why don't I go to the meeting and you take care of Mommy." He told her she couldn't because she couldn't drive. Though I do think his meeting with the board would have been much more fun and memorable if Froggie would have attended in his place.
I will say that my daughter is very caring and loving and a good nurse. But she still relies on me for a lot. I had to get her dinner. Thank goodness for Ravioli and a microwave. It wasn't the best meal but I got my child fed. We did a lot of snuggling but I still had to get up to get her something to drink. She gave me lots of hugs and kisses to make me feel better.
I am lucky that my husband is good. He took care of the dishes and put Froggie to bed when he got home. Not all Moms have someone that can or is willing to help out when you aren't feeling real well. I remember the last time the stomach bug hit me, Froggie was just a baby and it was over the weekend and my husband was working that Saturday so I had to take care of her. Let me tell you the last thing you want to do with a queasy stomach is change a poopy diaper. But I sucked it up and I did it. Just like the other night. I had to suck it up and take care of her. She's my baby and Mom's don't get sick days.
Monday, October 20, 2014
The Woes of Raising a Girl
My niece and I were pregnant at the same time. Yes I said my niece because there are only 6 years difference between us. She was pregnant with her second child while I was with my first. We got to talking after we found out the gender of our unborn children.
I am going to interject a funny story hear before I get back to the main topic of my post. My great-nephew had so wanted his Mom to have a little girl. He was quite disappointed that he was getting a brother and not a sister. So one day my niece let it slip that I was having a girl. Her son asked, "Aunt Stacie is having a girl?" She told him that I was. He paused for a moment and suggested to her that we could just switch babies. That way he could have a sister and his aunt and uncle could still have a baby they would just have a boy. I asked her why he wanted a sister so badly. She looked at me and said, "He wants his own personal cheerleader." I had to giggle. My great nephew was playing football at the time. So I explained to him that we couldn't switch babies but he could still have his own personal cheerleader. She would just live with us. My daughter has gone to his games. How effective a cheerleader she is remains to be seen.
Late that same day is when the topic of gender came up. I remember my niece saying she was so glad to be having a boy that girls are so difficult to raise. Probably not those exact words but something like it. She went on to explain about girls getting all emotional and having to go through puberty. Not to mention all the drama that comes with a girl. Boys were generally easier because they didn't have all this.
I started to panic. She wasn't even born yet and already people were telling me how difficult it was. I had heard this from friends too. I don't necessarily think that boys are less difficult then girls. I just think it's different. Girls do have their issues and so do boys.
One of the major things I'm thinking of is body image. I want to promote good bod image to her when she's four so maybe it won't be so bad when she's fourteen. Everywhere I took they're talking about how Barbie is a bad roll model because she's out of proportion. When did a doll become a role model for kids? I read about all the celebrities that have been photoshopped to look the most appealing to the audience of readers out there. Then there is the notion that thin is pretty and if you don't look a certain way you are ugly.
Not only am I dealing with all that, I'm dealing with being an older Mom. Am I going to understand my daughter's woes when she is 14 and I am 55? Will I be able to relate to her? Will I be able to help her past this time in her life?
I don't know right now. Maybe I'll just have to wait until we get there. I try not to worry about what will happen ten years from now, but sometimes it just creeps into my mind. I just have to remember to try to be the best Mom I can possibly be. I must be doing something right because the other day I had put on some lipstick and she said, "Mommy, don't color your lips." I said, "Too late I already did it." She said, "You don't have to do that. You are pretty without it." I smiled the rest of the day and prayed she'll keep thinking like that as she gets older.
I am going to interject a funny story hear before I get back to the main topic of my post. My great-nephew had so wanted his Mom to have a little girl. He was quite disappointed that he was getting a brother and not a sister. So one day my niece let it slip that I was having a girl. Her son asked, "Aunt Stacie is having a girl?" She told him that I was. He paused for a moment and suggested to her that we could just switch babies. That way he could have a sister and his aunt and uncle could still have a baby they would just have a boy. I asked her why he wanted a sister so badly. She looked at me and said, "He wants his own personal cheerleader." I had to giggle. My great nephew was playing football at the time. So I explained to him that we couldn't switch babies but he could still have his own personal cheerleader. She would just live with us. My daughter has gone to his games. How effective a cheerleader she is remains to be seen.
Late that same day is when the topic of gender came up. I remember my niece saying she was so glad to be having a boy that girls are so difficult to raise. Probably not those exact words but something like it. She went on to explain about girls getting all emotional and having to go through puberty. Not to mention all the drama that comes with a girl. Boys were generally easier because they didn't have all this.
I started to panic. She wasn't even born yet and already people were telling me how difficult it was. I had heard this from friends too. I don't necessarily think that boys are less difficult then girls. I just think it's different. Girls do have their issues and so do boys.
One of the major things I'm thinking of is body image. I want to promote good bod image to her when she's four so maybe it won't be so bad when she's fourteen. Everywhere I took they're talking about how Barbie is a bad roll model because she's out of proportion. When did a doll become a role model for kids? I read about all the celebrities that have been photoshopped to look the most appealing to the audience of readers out there. Then there is the notion that thin is pretty and if you don't look a certain way you are ugly.
Not only am I dealing with all that, I'm dealing with being an older Mom. Am I going to understand my daughter's woes when she is 14 and I am 55? Will I be able to relate to her? Will I be able to help her past this time in her life?
I don't know right now. Maybe I'll just have to wait until we get there. I try not to worry about what will happen ten years from now, but sometimes it just creeps into my mind. I just have to remember to try to be the best Mom I can possibly be. I must be doing something right because the other day I had put on some lipstick and she said, "Mommy, don't color your lips." I said, "Too late I already did it." She said, "You don't have to do that. You are pretty without it." I smiled the rest of the day and prayed she'll keep thinking like that as she gets older.
Tuesday, September 23, 2014
Feeling My Age at Dance Class
Froggie started dance class three weeks ago. Hard to believe tomorrow will be her third dance class. She is very excited and loving dance class. However, I feel like an outsider. I'm surrounded by young Moms. I have to admit I get uncomfortable. Though I did try last time talking to some of them. The conversation was on the short side.
It is funny because I have a job where I have to deal with teens on a regular basis. Despite my age, they think I'm rather cool. I'm young at heart. Every so often I shock them by saying something about a musician that is popular. They are amazed I listen to some of the same music they do.
So why is it so hard for me to talk with someone who is thirty something or even twenty something. It would probably help if I were more social in general. I'm usually the one that keeps to herself. I watch and I listen a lot. No one would really call me a social butterfly. Lucky for me Froggie is not like this and makes friends easily.
I will keep on trying and hopefully I will be accepted into the fold. Not thought of as that old woman that brings her child to dance class. Though if they are thinking I'm old they are probably thinking that I am her Grandmother that's raising her and not her Mom.
It is funny because I have a job where I have to deal with teens on a regular basis. Despite my age, they think I'm rather cool. I'm young at heart. Every so often I shock them by saying something about a musician that is popular. They are amazed I listen to some of the same music they do.
So why is it so hard for me to talk with someone who is thirty something or even twenty something. It would probably help if I were more social in general. I'm usually the one that keeps to herself. I watch and I listen a lot. No one would really call me a social butterfly. Lucky for me Froggie is not like this and makes friends easily.
I will keep on trying and hopefully I will be accepted into the fold. Not thought of as that old woman that brings her child to dance class. Though if they are thinking I'm old they are probably thinking that I am her Grandmother that's raising her and not her Mom.
Monday, September 22, 2014
Everyone has an opinion
Life got hectic and I feel bad that I have neglected my blog. Sometimes this happens especially when you have children. Even one child can throw your plans into chaos. So I have some free time and decided to write about a blog post I read recently.
I'm just browsing the Internet when I come across a post about Rosie O'Donnel going off on Mayim Bialik on the view about Ms. Bialik's blog post about the movie Frozen. Now my curiosity is peaked. I go to the blog site and read the now infamous post titled Why My Sons and I Hate the Movie Frozen. (Which you can read here if you want, http://www.kveller.com/mayim-bialik/mayim-bialik-why-my-sons-and-i-hate-frozen)
As I'm reading I'm thinking what is all the fuss about. Now before you start hating me thinking I'm anti-Frozen, hear me out. I LOVE Frozen. It is one of my favorite Disney movies. My daughter adores Frozen. Now that being said, Mayim Bialik has a right to her opinion. She didn't just come out without even seeing the movie and start bashing it. Honestly, she really doesn't bash it but just lists reasons why she doesn't like it. She lists three reasons she doesn't really like it.
Plot
Ms. Bialik states she doesn't like the plot. She states it here how she feels.
Male Bashing
Ms. Balik's other problem with the movie is she feels that there is male bashing going on.
Hans was a jerk. Sorry to say that. He lies and cheats. Is this male bashing? In my opinion, it's not. I just don't see it. And as a parent of a little girl I have talked to her about Hans. She said to me, "Mommy, Hans is bad because he lied." I said, "Yes he is. Lying is wrong." Then I asked her this, "If Ana was the one that lied would she be bad." My daughter said "Yes". She isn't focusing on the gender of the character. She's focusing on what the character has done and that the action was bad. Now not all parents will do this with their children. I know this. But there are those of us out there that do. Is Ms. Balik wrong for feeling there was male bashing in the movie? Certainly not. That is how she saw it. I didn't see it the same way. That's the beauty of it. Everyone has their own interpretation of a movie.
Female Characters that Look Like Dolls
She does have a point that the female characters don't look like they are the same species as the male characters. Sorry folks to burst your bubble but Disney is out to make money from their movies and merchandise. They find out what they think will work to get the most people to go out and pay to see the movie and/or buy the DVD, t-shirts, dolls, etc. I didn't really scrutinize how they looked but did notice the extra large eyes. It reminded me a bit of anime characters.
So what is my point to all this. I believe everyone has an opinion and a right to state that opinion. I don't think people should be hating Mayim Bialik's post. She stated what she believes and if you don't agree with it then so be it. I haven't once said, Mayim Bialik is an awful person for her beliefs. I stated to you how she felt and why I felt differently. Don't we have other things to worry about then whether someone didn't like Frozen or not.
I'm just browsing the Internet when I come across a post about Rosie O'Donnel going off on Mayim Bialik on the view about Ms. Bialik's blog post about the movie Frozen. Now my curiosity is peaked. I go to the blog site and read the now infamous post titled Why My Sons and I Hate the Movie Frozen. (Which you can read here if you want, http://www.kveller.com/mayim-bialik/mayim-bialik-why-my-sons-and-i-hate-frozen)
As I'm reading I'm thinking what is all the fuss about. Now before you start hating me thinking I'm anti-Frozen, hear me out. I LOVE Frozen. It is one of my favorite Disney movies. My daughter adores Frozen. Now that being said, Mayim Bialik has a right to her opinion. She didn't just come out without even seeing the movie and start bashing it. Honestly, she really doesn't bash it but just lists reasons why she doesn't like it. She lists three reasons she doesn't really like it.
Plot
Ms. Bialik states she doesn't like the plot. She states it here how she feels.
Sure, it’s sort of hidden, but the search for a man/love/Prince is still the reigning plot line in the movie, as it is with pretty much all movies for young people which are animated.I didn't feel the same way. I felt that it wasn't just about finding a man or someone to love but it was deeper than that. Ana has been isolated from everyone for years. I got from it that she craves a human connection. She was not only isolated from the outside world but also the person that was closest to her didn't want to have anything to do with her any more and she didn't know why. When they are finally together at the coronation of Elsa, you see the uneasiness in Ana. She isn't sure how to act. When it comes down to it, in the end a man means nothing. It is sisterly love that warms Ana's frozen heart. Froggie believes the main plot line is that Elsa is magical. For her it's all about the magic. So much so that she has named her stuffed unicorn Elsa because Elsa has magic and so do unicorns.
Male Bashing
Ms. Balik's other problem with the movie is she feels that there is male bashing going on.
The Prince/hero turns out to be a scheming villain. He pretended to love her and then he double crosses her and she gets the lesson taught to her not to trust those nasty scheming conniving men. Because you know, men can’t be trusted?
Hans was a jerk. Sorry to say that. He lies and cheats. Is this male bashing? In my opinion, it's not. I just don't see it. And as a parent of a little girl I have talked to her about Hans. She said to me, "Mommy, Hans is bad because he lied." I said, "Yes he is. Lying is wrong." Then I asked her this, "If Ana was the one that lied would she be bad." My daughter said "Yes". She isn't focusing on the gender of the character. She's focusing on what the character has done and that the action was bad. Now not all parents will do this with their children. I know this. But there are those of us out there that do. Is Ms. Balik wrong for feeling there was male bashing in the movie? Certainly not. That is how she saw it. I didn't see it the same way. That's the beauty of it. Everyone has their own interpretation of a movie.
Female Characters that Look Like Dolls
She does have a point that the female characters don't look like they are the same species as the male characters. Sorry folks to burst your bubble but Disney is out to make money from their movies and merchandise. They find out what they think will work to get the most people to go out and pay to see the movie and/or buy the DVD, t-shirts, dolls, etc. I didn't really scrutinize how they looked but did notice the extra large eyes. It reminded me a bit of anime characters.
So what is my point to all this. I believe everyone has an opinion and a right to state that opinion. I don't think people should be hating Mayim Bialik's post. She stated what she believes and if you don't agree with it then so be it. I haven't once said, Mayim Bialik is an awful person for her beliefs. I stated to you how she felt and why I felt differently. Don't we have other things to worry about then whether someone didn't like Frozen or not.
Thursday, August 21, 2014
Daycare Blues
I am a working Mom. If I had my choice I'd be a stay at home one. That is not what life has in store for me. I go to work not because I just absolutely love my job and love working. I go to work to put a roof over my daughter's head, clothing on her back and food in her tummy. Sometimes it's really hard to go off to work. Sometimes when she is having a nuclear meltdown I look forward to the time away.
Today she says, "I don't want to go to school."
We call daycare school because she does do preschool work there and it's an easier transition when she goes to Kindergarten next year. I'm getting off track now. I ask her why is it she doesn't want to go to school. All she can tell me is she just doesn't like it. The last time she said this and I asked her why, she told me it was because she didn't like nap time. Nap time is a whole other problem we are facing.
I don't know what to say to her and I don't know what to do. She has never stated she doesn't like daycare. She's always loved going there and has so much fun. So here I am racking my brains as to why she no longer likes it when it hits me. There were a lot of kids there that have moved on to Kindergarten. She is now one of three that are left from last year. Her problem isn't she doesn't like daycare anymore. Her problem is she's missing everyone. Over the summer she got real close to one of the older boys. They played and had a good time. She'd often say he was her friend. Now that this little boy has gone back to school, she is sad. Daycare is no longer fun for her.
My plan is to talk with her tonight. We're having a "girls night" tonight. We have these when my husband has meetings and isn't home for dinner. Hopefully she'll talk about her feelings and I'll be able to help her understand why people leave and it will be o.k.. I don't want her to feel sad and I don't want her not to like to attend daycare.
Today she says, "I don't want to go to school."
We call daycare school because she does do preschool work there and it's an easier transition when she goes to Kindergarten next year. I'm getting off track now. I ask her why is it she doesn't want to go to school. All she can tell me is she just doesn't like it. The last time she said this and I asked her why, she told me it was because she didn't like nap time. Nap time is a whole other problem we are facing.
I don't know what to say to her and I don't know what to do. She has never stated she doesn't like daycare. She's always loved going there and has so much fun. So here I am racking my brains as to why she no longer likes it when it hits me. There were a lot of kids there that have moved on to Kindergarten. She is now one of three that are left from last year. Her problem isn't she doesn't like daycare anymore. Her problem is she's missing everyone. Over the summer she got real close to one of the older boys. They played and had a good time. She'd often say he was her friend. Now that this little boy has gone back to school, she is sad. Daycare is no longer fun for her.
My plan is to talk with her tonight. We're having a "girls night" tonight. We have these when my husband has meetings and isn't home for dinner. Hopefully she'll talk about her feelings and I'll be able to help her understand why people leave and it will be o.k.. I don't want her to feel sad and I don't want her not to like to attend daycare.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)